Thursday, April 19, 2012

Holla Back

its been almost a year since i posted. sorry about that. it would take me a year to tell you about the year i've had. honestly. it's been the best one yet. a million things have happened. To no one's surprise i find myself at Ozark Christian College. Studying to be a youth minister. hahaha. yea. like i said none of you are surprised. I have fallen hard for a boy named Zach. He has yet to meet the parents but thats next weekend. I have these two new friends who have rocked my view of biblical friendship. and idk. like i said there are a million things that have happened since i last talked to you guys: Football season (OSU and Patriots), OSU in general, Ozark, transitions, new friendships, lots of burned bridges.
I find myself on here today though because i was thinking about Mayo. and PRC. And everything i've been through. So i got on here to read some of my old stuff. and for some reason, today my past is heavy on my heart. I find myself thinking about how much i regret. and that's not healthy or good. So if you guys could just send a prayer up for me today. As i'm still wrestling with letting go and forgiving myself for stuff everyone else has already forgotten about. i would just appreciate it.
I love you guys and i promise that i'm going to keep everyone more updated on my life. It's important to record the good not just the bad.

as always
Love and Rockets,

Sunday, May 1, 2011


There are some people, who, no matter how hard you try to convince them that they are beautiful and that the world needs them, will never believe you. They look into the mirror and see a grotesque figure facing them, they think about their actions, and all they notice are their faults or what they should have done right. Their peers soon give up on them, labeling them a “lost cause”, and shutting the book. How wrong of us to do so.
Though, we might know the outcome, we should still keep trying. Keep trying and teach them about self worth day after day. This is why I think humans are on this planet; we are here to try. To give 100% of what we have inside of us to those who need it. So at the end of the day we can go to bed knowing that we still did everything we could. Everything that was in our power was done. Everything consists of not giving up; that we did not move onto the next chapter because this one was too much of a challenge for us.

I still want you to try.
In fact, I challenge you to try.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

My week

So i have spent the last weekish in Chicago, Chi-town, whatever other names this incredible city has. I was on a mission trip with my church youth group. which really is like my family. honestly these adults and kids save my life on a daily basis. So i am a big adult now so.... i have found myself this week having to think threw things more then normal. not just act on my impulses like normally.
Uhm i guess you guys read this to know about my life. so i will try to explain to you what we did. Monday was an all day driving thing nothing really special happened. we saw sun, snow, rain, and one of the most beautiful sunsets i have ever seen.
Tuesday the 30 people in my group went to the Christian Youth Center. It was a place where kids could go just to hang out and stay off the streets. The thing was that the place really needed some help. We spent the entire day just cleaning. And where it wasn't the funnest job in the world. It was actually disgusting it felt good to help these people. also we got to demolish some stuff...and what is more fun the destroying things?
Wednesday was the day that i think just blew me away. We went to a homeless shelter in downtown and helped serve and cook lunch. if you want to know what happened this day ask me. but i can sum it up in a sentence. These aren't homeless people. These are people who happen to be homeless. They are people. AMAZING HAPPY PEOPLE. made me so greatful.
Today we just hung out in downtown chicago. Ash bought me some awesome shoes because she is awesome.
I also have been hanging out with my friend chessy. She is pretty much me. She is this little young inspirational person who reminds me of why i dream. She is the on person who like understands why i want out of this town you know. I can't really say it but i can tell you that we are going to be friends for a long time. We have only known eachother for a little over two months and i already feel like i have known her for a long time. She makes me laugh so stinking hard.
well that is all i have to say for now. but i love you guys.
love and rockets

Friday, February 25, 2011

today. well today sucked.

that's all i have to say about that.

i really am getting utterly just sad. tonight is friday and i'm sitting at home because some of my friends are hanging and didn't invite me while the other half of my friends are doing the same...i don't even care anymore.

all i want is stillwater then hawaii. is that too much to ask. i'm tired of being stuck here

love and rockets,

Friday, February 4, 2011

It's the time for a long update

So i guess i should update how my life is lately. mistakes are painful but they are the only way to find out who you truly are. i promise from here on out nothing is ever going to be the same. December was a very long month for me. I got into some trouble and its something im going to be paying for for a very long time. but it taught me a lot of lessons. I have had a lot of trials in my life but most of support has had to be from an illness. this time i needed support when i didn't deserve it. I needed love and people to stick up for me even though there wasn't a fiber of my body that deserved it. but because God has blessed me with such amazing people in my life i can honestly say i don't think i lost a single friend. and that is cool. did people i didn't know judge me and say things ya of course but my amazing people stood up for me. and that is something so humbling that i don't even know how to say thank you.
December also brought some very very good things. Like i got to see all my friends that came home from college. like Bex. Becca is my best friend. but we have one of the most unique friendships i have ever even heard of. See we don't have to talk everyday. Its wonderful when we get to, but we can go weeks without talking but somehow that status of being best friends doesn't change. I don't know how but somehow its like we have been threw so much that distance and time just doesn't effect us. its kinda awesome. Also her boy Andy is super cool. Andy is like this crazy smart kid. But he is also kind of like a Giant teddy bear. He has my back because im beccas best friend and he doesn't let me forget that. He is a genuine good guy. There aren't enough of those out there. Idk there was lots of people. and getting to just forget about life for a few days with them is super awesome.
Oh and i got to go see Julia. Now jules is someone i met in minnesota and she is probably one of the strongest people i know. She lives in La Canada, CA which is like right next to LA. I got to go to the beach and meet her amazing family. Gah her family like opened their home to me. Her twin sister like hung out with me even though she didn't know me and was having a rough week. Her older sister natalie is so cool. and her mom is just the kindest person i have ever met. defiantly a much need break from oklahoma. And CA i def hope to live in you someday.
January well January has been a month of job searching. I NEED A JOB BAD but that pre mentioned trouble is complicating that. So if you read this and can help me out please let me know. Also This month brought my best friend Ashley Nicole Stump winning homecoming queen. Now, Ash is probably the best person i know in the fact that i think she would take a bullet for a stranger. And she has made my walk with christ so much better. Ash is like the person i want to be when i get older. and she is younger then me. She is gonna be famous i promise you that. She deserved Queen. Feb is the month that brought 30 INCHES OF SNOW! it was crazy. it still is. Gah.
well there is a brief update.
oh i almost forgot a big one. Because of the trouble and prayer actually i will be staying in state for a year before i head out of state. I will be attending Oklahoma State University in Stillwater Oklahoma. And i'll be living with Ms. Natalie Bayne.
love and rockets,

Friday, November 12, 2010

yea im gonna complain get over it

remember before surgery when i said i felt alone. yea i had no idea what that meant. i spent my friday night all alone...kinda like i have spent every night since i have been home. literally. i hate it. i hate being here. i was gonna go to the game but that would mean sitting alone. and i did that at the last game and didn't feel like doing that again. i have a job so i do that. i go to church. but i feel more alone there then ever. then i come home and sit by myself and watch tv or dream about the future. on the occasion i get a text saying what up. but you know its not like im mad at my friends at all. because they are just trying to live their lives and im not really a part of that anymore. i mean i am but im leaving in august and i mean they don't think about me when they are making plans because i don't go to school with them so why would i be on there minds. its whatever i just have to keep reminding myself that i only have to survive the next few months. but that is how i have been living the past like 3 years of my life. just survive today. are things better since the surgery health wise? yea. oh yea for sure i feel better then i ever have but that just means i have more time to focus on being alone. lol. well next month i get to La Canada and visit my friend from PRC jules. so that is very exciting. for real. and my family is coming to visit soon so they always make me feel better. this me hoping that i never remember this year in 10 years

love and rockets,

Thursday, November 4, 2010

to my favorite person

today i would like to dedicate this post to marissa gomez. my favorite mexican.

she makes me smile...and should tell me what the name of her blog is :) please